From Ring to Mirror

PROLOGUE It was almost two years since she had heard the ringtone that made her heart beat faster when he used to call her. She was sitting at her window absorbed in a reverie holding a pen and few papers. She was helplessly trying to give words to the bond she shared with him. And as if coming alive from the words she heard the exact same ringtone in the vicinity. Her heart almost came to a halt to make sure what it heard and for the fear of losing the moment. “Waiting for you outside.” He said. How she had missed the sensations his voice caused deep within her soul. Her eyes blurred, the ink smeared and the memories came alive. She gathered her papers and tucked them in her bag. Adjusting her floral duppatta and white kurti she went outside where he was waiting for her in his car. They hugged like any other two friends would have hugged. But they knew the warmth that the hug beheld. He looked at her, deep in her eyes. “Your eyes! I cannot go below them even now. They are still the same, beautiful as ever.” Blushing she looked away from him and he continued “Which by the way I can see that you are not taking care of, see the dark circles.” He was angry. He was possessive for her eyes. And she loved him being possessive about anything, even her heart beat. They entered his car, the same old feeling of belongingness. How time flies! She was in no mood to waste their time; she asked for his hand. “May I?” and he smiled his killer smile, my smiling assassin, she thought to herself. His hands! She was holding them after more than two years. Indeed, they were meeting this way, without any inhibitions (probably) after such a long time. Those hands, they were the ones that have guided her when she was lost, held her strong when she was about to fall, caressed her skin when she was vulnerable. She has been in love with them ever since she knew what a single hold can do to her nerve cells. They had missed on holding their hands when they had met the last time, both being unsure of the sanctity of the relation, but this time they didn’t put their relation in the backdrop. They wanted their relation to breathe. They weren’t lying to anybody; they were just being true to themselves. They had lived up to people’s expectations but had failed their own. But now here they were, beyond anything and anybody. It is US, like always, she thought to herself. She had a huge tornado erupting within her, there were so many feelings, unanswered questions, longing, desire and pure love for him. He wasn’t ignorant of her feelings as well as of his own. She has always been his charm, and she still is the reasons for his smile. He knew the relation they share was beyond the phone calls or text messages. It was beyond any regular conversation. It was something so pure and deep, he knew, which only they could understand. He started moving his fingers over her palm in circles. Siren, siren, beep, take over, you will lose, you will be vulnerable, he is exposing you to him, her inner voice signaled her red. But she was in no mood to listen to warnings; neither did she want to stay stuck between the “You should not” and “I want” bicker. She was there to lose herself today, completely. She has been strong for a period long enough, she gave him the time to be strong himself, but here they were, holding each other’s hands and yet feeling an orgasmic feeling. She shivered within; his little touch over her skin was electrifying. She asked him about the letters she had given him all those years. She had always loved writing to him. He didn’t say anything for a moment. She asked again. He held her hand and kept it on his heart. “They are here.” He smiled with pain in his eyes. He burnt them probably, she thought to herself. She suddenly felt hurt and looked away through the window. Her throat was about to swell. “You will always remember me, right?” It was more of an assurance for herself, than a question. He looked at her; with a shaking voice he replied “I never forgot you.” Silence! A comfortable one! They have been through so much, the flirting phase, the late night chats, the long calls, the drunk calls, the frustrated professional life calls, the success story calls, the feeling-lonely calls, the want-you-here-calls, everything! “I am scared I will lose my place in your remembrance.” A tear rolled down her cheek. This was the first time in fifteen years of them knowing each other that he saw her crying. Tears were rolling down, not just from her eyes but from his as well. He would never let her lose her smile, let alone cry. He pulled her towards him, over his shoulder. This was enough to make her lose herself, and step beyond her inhibitions which had been restricting her words. “I am scared that someday you will forget me, you have a big family and social circle and I’ll lose you.” “You are special Riya. Do you think I never tried to forget you? I did, I tried hard, but I just couldn’t do so. I failed terribly. Even after 24 months from that night of 16th January, when our lives changed forever, there is none that can replace that one night we shared, and the smile you had on your face. I just cannot forget that.” “At least make me believe that you remember me. I know I am special in your life, but make me realize that, leave me a text once in a month or two. Just a hi! I will understand you are remembering me. Please. Do this much.” “Don’t I pop up out of the blue? I can’t stay away from you Riya. You have made me feel what it is to be loved by someone unconditionally. I have known love through your eyes. What I share with you is something that will stay with me throughout.” He kissed on her forehead. He no more uses Jovan musk, she realized. “I miss you a lot. The future that we feared became our present too early. It’s like I had the best thing in this world and I lost it before I could cherish it completely.” She showered him with all that has been going on. She had never complained. This wasn’t a complaint even, she has missed him badly during these 24 months. He moved his hands to shift the gears to slow down the car a little more. “Don’t leave my hand. I want to hold it, I don’t know about you.” “I? I would not want to hold it?” He was flabbergasted. She always loved his expression of wonderment. “I have missed you Riya.” He rolled the mirrors and increased the AC. The spark between them was too strong and electrifying to keep the mirrors down. Moreover he was too possessive for her hair being ruffled by breeze. He moved his hand towards her and carefully brushed a strand of hair that danced on her face. Still too lazy to brush aside her own hair, he smiled at the memory. “Spend a night with me”, she blurted. Yes, she was being mean and selfish, but she knew he wanted it too; he was just tied down by these bondages of Indian custom. She looked up to see his expressions and she could feel a lump going down his throat and lips going dry. She very well knew he won’t answer. He cannot answer. He thought too much about her. He is afraid he will ruin her life and won’t be able to face her. “Come on, I am asking you, it will help me.” She insisted. “I am not able to resist you Riya. You know that very well. And you don’t stop me when we are together.” He still remembers that night. “Please, I swear, I just need you to lie down on my lap, that’s it. I will not let anything happen.” “You don’t stop me; I just cannot control myself when you are around. I don’t know what happens to me. I go crazy.” “Please!” She tried pushing the boundaries to an extent where she knew he would succumb. She felt his lips on her head and his fingers on her neck. He moved his fingers through her hair. The spark just ignited her. She couldn’t speak. She could feel him going weak, and she didn’t stop. “Riya you still are irresistible. I cannot resist you, even now. Please understand.”