Nobody to Somebody

I still remember how, during my childhood, I used to compare myself to people around me. I compared myself in terms of parental status, physical appearance, talents and so on. Wherever I went I would meet children my age and I was always conscious of the differences between us. I was aware of my appearance and felt quite ashamed and embarrassed about the way I looked. I was a dark, skinny boy, unlike my parents or brother. Whenever people visited my home for the first time they often mistook me for being a helper in the house, rather than one of my parent’s children. As I grew up I always thought I was nobody- good for nothing. Another factor that contributed to my inferiority complex was my struggle to use the correct pronunciation when speaking certain words or names. No matter how hard I tried to pronounce words correctly, I struggled. Every time I said something, people would be aware of my grapple to pronounciate correctly. As a small boy I sounded cute or funny to people who heard me talk, but as I grew up and things continued in the same way, I became conscious of what others thought. Often people would ask me to repeat the word or sentence I'd just spoken and when I faltered again, people would laugh at me. So, as I grew up I was so conscious about people making fun of my speech that it led to me developing a lower self-esteem. I always thought I was nobody- good for nothing. It was my Dad who was always on my side. From an early age he was always pushing me in the right direction and always encouraging me to have a dream for my future. By the time I was eight years old I already had a dream, though it was not yet in detail. I dreamt of doing my degree course in a particular college in Nagaland; I dreamt that after graduating, I'd go down to south India to do another course in Bangalore and then I dreamt that I'd have the opportunity to travel to a foreign country. Though I always had that inferiority complex, that lack of self-worth, I held on tight to my dreams. I believed that if I worked hard they would come to pass one day. However, at the age of nine I thought my dream was shattered. There was a clash in my town (Mokokchung, also a district in the state of Nagaland situated in the North East of India) between the Indian Army and the Naga National workers. This resulted in our only source of income, our family shop, being burnt to ashes. Although my parents never shared about the challenges they faced from that day forth, to pay off loans and put food on the table, I knew what was going on. I started to lose hope. I didn't know if I'd be able to fulfil my dreams, especially my dream of going abroad one day. I tried to tell myself often that I would work hard to achieve my goals even though my parents would not be able to support me financially; with time, however, I started to consider myself more and more as a ‘nobody'- good for nothing. Every time I thought of my hopes for the future I thought I couldn't do it because of my parent’s financial position and my personal limitations. There was another thing that I began to believe more too. I began to believe that there were many good people, better than me, who deserved the bright future instead of me. Today looking back from where I am now I can say that I am just the opposite of what I thought I was. With God I have fulfilled all the dreams I used to dream and I am more than nobody. I am somebody. The following chapters are intended to inspire you and think positively about yourself and your abilities. Please read, learn, grow and be transformed in unimaginable ways as you flick from page to page. Know that you are somebody! “I believe there’s an inner power that makes winners or losers. And the winners are the ones who really listen to the truth of their hearts.” Sylvester Stallone “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11