Tedium Troopers

‘On 24th November, 1859, the world heard of the biggest theft! It was bitter in taste, rooted in foundation, strong in fabric and heretic in religious fraternity, for the name of the thief was allegedly Charles Darwin!’ Ivans and Rose looked at the speaker who stood on the podium of The Orator, the 2000 seater International Convention Centre of The Emperor - the latest born among the star hotels of the City. The Emperor was located in the quiet and tranquil suburb of the City and was a favourite haunt of the western tourists especially for its sylvan ambience and serene environs...the first choice of most of the visiting country heads if they happened to visit that province. The speaker winked at Ivans and Rose after dropping the bombshell. Krishnan Potti was presenting his paper in the Annual World Conference of Phantasmagoria – an International Organization of starry eyed idealists, inventors and innovators. Phantasmagoria had units all over the world. Its roots are very prominent at National, State, District and Province level of each member country. It also very efficiently coordinated its activities even among schools to promote budding trailblazers at their tender age. The tinted compact fluorescent lamps flooded The Orator in multi-hues giving it an enchanted air of Phantasmagoria. The crowd was in full attendance with Phantasmagorists and their nominees from 150 odd countries. Krishnan Potti looked at the audience as a magician did. There was a paper-drop silence in the hall. They had even failed to breathe for a moment as they had never ever heard such a beginning from any idealists ever before. ‘My dear co-Phantasmagorists, it was on 24th November, 1859, On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle of life (The Origin of Species) was first published by Charles Robert Darwin. It shook the foundations of all the religions, especially Christianity which preaches the wondrous works of God, the Omnipotent Creator! The Origin of Species challenged and mocked at the Book of Genesis, one of the most beautiful pieces of literature which proclaimed the existence of God and the creation of Universe in Christian terms. Bipedalism – practice of walking on two legs - started 14 million years ago although some of us, even now, don’t know how to.’ A guffaw was let loose in the hall. ‘Friends’, Potti resumed like a victorious invader. ‘Joseph Dalton Hooker, the Botanist-friend of Darwin the Hypocrite, travelled extensively in the Himalayas prior to the publication of The Origin of Species. Edward Blyth, the Zoologist who was in Calcutta for 21 years had already started sending letters to Darwin since 1855 and Horace Hayman Wilson translated Vishnu Purana to English from Sanskrit in 1840. Blyth worked as a curator in the Museum of the Royal Asiatic Society rooted in Calcutta and H H Wilson himself was its Director. ‘Now, you might be wondering why I relate these names and stuff to Darwin for proving my point that Darwin is the greatest copycat in the world. Those three names mentioned above and many more have been communicating with Charles Darwin and he happened to hear about the ten incarnations of Lord Vishnu through the four Yugas – the Ages. These ten incarnations are beautifully described in Vishnu Purana as DASHAVATARS– the ten incarnations. ‘My Humble effort is to save Christianity with the help of Hinduism for all of them preach the same: peace! After all, why do we hate each other? Don’t we know that there is Ram in RAMzan and Ali in DeewALI?’ Applause was unimaginably loud. ‘The first Yuga, Krita or Satya Yuga, witnessed the first four avatars of Lord Vishnu. The second Yuga, Treta Yuga, witnessed the next three avatars of The Lord. The third Yuga, Dwapara Yuga, witnessed the next two avatars and the last Yuga, Kali Yuga, witnessed the last avatar. Its ratio is 4:3:2:1 counting from Krita and 1:2:3:4 counting from Kali. The number of avatars and the number of years of the Yugas are also laid in the same ratio. Krita or Satya spread over 1,728,000 years, Treta 1,296,000 years, Dwapara 864,000 years and Kali spreads over 432,000 years. Continues… ‘By 4 pm, they left the canyon for the nearby village. Che Guevara was carried by four Bolivians. He was stretched out on a blanket while the wounded Willy and El Chino were forced to walk all the 7 kilometres. Che, Willy and El Chino were taken, tied up and beaten up brutally. The cruel Rangers brought them to the village of La Higuera by 7 pm, where they got them locked up in separate rooms. For, it was said, there was no person more feared by the CIA than Che as he had the capacity and charisma necessary to direct a struggle against any form of repression of the traditional hierarchies in power. The village school where they were locked up had 2 classrooms and 1 office room. It stood on a small hill which lies at an approximate height of 2000 meters above sea-level. Che was held in the middle room. ‘The soldiers of the Bolivian Army were forced by the watchdogs of Imperialism to hit Che everywhere on his body. He would receive every blow with a stony look at his persecutors. Che could at the same time, hear the terrible cries of already dying Willy and El Chino from the flanks when beaten up and hit with the rifle butts on being questioned. But, Che would never utter a word. He would only look at the broken walls of the room with a broken heart through his glassy glance on receiving the brutal blows with the butts after removing the recoil-pad.’ The Twilight Audience at CHE was now weeping. All of them sat down on the mud baked ground with their tear torn eyes still cast on General Ivans. His language and the story had attained the perfect blend of a sublime style which would keep even the most unproductive audience engaged and engrossed. ‘The CIA would not allow anyone to enter the lockups, nor would they provide any food or drink to those noble revolutionaries. No sound was heard from the rooms of his comrades by Che. They are either dead or unconscious, Che thought. Che’s right leg was severely wounded and one bullet had even scooped the entire flesh of its calf. It is said that Che at a time told one of the Bolivian soldiers, I am thirsty! None of them would give him even some bitter beer to quench Che’s thirst who had even forgotten when he had had his Last Supper. Without his beret, in his long beard and thick matted hair, he resembled Jesus of Nazareth. ‘Was Che The Lord’s Second Coming? ’ Major General Joseph Ivans paused and took a long breath. ‘Yes,’ Broker Thommy shouted, and all others nodded in agreement. ‘Che was in confinement with Willy and El Chino in rooms on either side: a symbolic representation of Mount Calvary. ‘Throughout that night, the CIA and the Rangers were drinking and dancing around a fire celebrating Che’s captivity. They thought that revolution would die along with Che. They even discussed who would keep which of his beloved personal belongings as mementos after his death. ‘Felix Rodrigues, the CIA commander of Che-search-party, insisted that he wanted only Che’s Rolex watch as a souvenir; another demanded his pipe for his memory; a third one was interested in his diary-memoir. A Bolivian had already grabbed his legendary beret and another, his beloved M-2 Carbine from the Yuro Ravine itself. As many of them wanted Che’s renowned olive green uniform, it is said that they decided to throw dice for it. ‘The repetition of a page from The Calvary Chronicles – enacted 2000 years ago!’ The Twilight Audience had already mounted the portrait of Che in their hearts somewhere close to the portrait of their Lord Jesus. Che had already attained immortality before his death. Even Neelandan and his Hindu brothers present there accepted Che as another saviour of the oppressed of the world. None of them present there would take their bleeding eyes from General Ivans’ face. Continues…