A Bird's Eye View Of My Life

I thought it’s time for me to share my journey with people who are going through similar rough times. Let me introduce myself to give you a better picture of me and my background. I am separated, have lived slightly more than half a century and have two grown up daughters (B & N). One just got married and is expecting her first baby soon. Both graduated from The University of Melbourne, one as a doctor and the other a physiotherapist, who is still living and working there. B returned to her birthplace, Singapore, and recently just moved to Taiwan with her husband for a year. I worked with a mission organisation (OMA) in Australia until 2008, and graduated at the beginning of 2008 with a Bachelor Degree in Counselling. I then returned to Singapore to discuss my daughter’s wedding and to apply to be an Australia Permanent Resident. I remember on 9th October 2008, I met S (at that time, B’s fiancé) and B at Tampines Mall (close to my home and also a popular shopping mall including a wide variety of food outlet) for dinner. After dinner, we were heading to the MRT to go home. I felt pain in my tummy, and headed for the nearest public toilet in the shopping mall. I had diarrhoea (at least, that’s what I thought), but to my surprise I bled and the whole toilet bowl was full of fresh blood. I was shocked and surprised, for I normally do not look into the toilet bowl or the tissue. It took me a while looking at it before I realised it was real I was bleeding!! After coming out from the bathroom, both S and B asked me whether I was alright. Being in the shock and denial, I told them I was fine and wanted to go back home. Back at the house, I went to the toilet and bled again. At that time, I thought: “Should I ask B to come and see this before I flush it away?” It took me a long time deciding in the bathroom, but at the end of it; I flushed it all down without telling her. I guess I was hoping that the next day it would all go away and be fine. However, it was not the case. Late in the night I went to the bathroom another time and the same thing happened. This time, I knew it was real, my body had some problems and I needed to seek medical help. The next day, after B left for work, I went on the internet to ‘Google’, trying to find out more about my problem. I discovered that I might have colon cancer and if so, it could already be at the final stage (since it bled). So, I took the courage and called B to tell her what had happened. Of course, I got scolded for not taking the symptom seriously, not telling her immediately when they were with me, and waiting until she was at work. Nevertheless, it was sweet of her to make all the necessary arrangement for me to go to Changi General Hospital (CGH) for a check at the Accident and Emergency (A&E) section. I went to the A & E and still hoping that it was not serious and maybe was some other problem. However on examination, the doctor was not very happy with what he saw, and arranged for colonoscopy the next day. My life changed from that very day, though I still hoped against hope. The result of the colonoscopy confirmed I had two tumours, one at the upper colon and the other near the rectum. Next, I needed to have CT scan, followed by doctor’s review on 14th October, 2008. I was told that it was confirmed that I had colorectal cancer but would know the stage after the surgery and I also needed to do a biopsy on my lungs (as it seemed to have some spots on the scan). Finally I was admitted to CGH on the Sunday 19th and had the surgery on the next day. Things happened too fast from that point. In just eleven days I had the entire test and finally the surgery, all of which did not give me enough time to process or even grieve about the disease that I have and my lost dreams. My cancer journey began from that simple bleeding and I am still not yet out of the woods. One of the most important things that I am really thankful for is that I have a belief and it is my FAITH that has brought me this far. I am thankful that God gave me loved ones and friends from all walks of life who prayed for me and walked this journey with me. I am thankful that it is all of them who stood by me, encouraged me, cried with me, lent me listening ears and most of all gave me all the support that I needed. Thanks to each of you! This book is born because of all the encouragement and support that I continually get. THANKS! Any profit from my book ministry will be channelled to various ministries.